Do you know one of those people that seems to express themselves effortlessly? Easy. Self confident. Authentic.
Well there is one simple thing you can do every day that will bring you leaps and bounds closer to living life as your own authentic self. It will bring you unconditional self-confidence and peace, stop negative patterns in your life, increase the intimacy of your relationships and help you to understand and communicate with others more effectively.
Ready?
Tell the truth. That’s right. Tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, so help you God. No saying “yes” when you mean “heck no!”… and then stewing about it for days. No light-hearted excuses when you show up late (was it really the traffic or did you leave 10 minutes late and then hit one crowded onramp?). No lying to your parents or friends about what you were doing last night (yes, I was out with that jerk who broke my heart into a million pieces last month). Obvious? Maybe. Easy? Think again. And read on. [For the full challenge take this online video course: 7 Secrets for Creating the Life You REALLY Want]
And, by the way, they know you’re lying anyway.
Take One: The Usual.
Let’s play it out. You are travelling out of town to see your family for Christmas (sound familiar?). You’ve always stayed at your parents’ house but now that you have a toddler it’s unbearable to stay there. It hurts you that your parents don’t think to baby-proof the house and the white carpet and tiny, breakable collection of trinkets lining the coffee tables makes it way too much work to watch your little one. You lie when your Mom calls, muttering something about wanting to stay with your brother this time because your son loves his dog. You know what will happen if you tell the truth… DRAMA. The Result? Your Mom is hurt and offended. She knows you’re lying and doesn’t know what’s going on. Your lie has estranged your relationship and obscured the real issue—that the house isn’t properly baby-proofed— which has not been communicated. Your Mom gets to blame you for being a bad person and doesn’t have to take responsibility for her own lack of consideration. You didn’t get to accept your family’s needs as worthy enough to defend openly and, although a conflict has been avoided, feelings are festering. You robbed yourself of the opportunity to learn to communicate a sensitive issue. You feel sheepish that you’re hiding something and avoid your parents during your stay.
Take two: Your Authentic Self.
You call your Mom and confess that last year it was stressful to stay with them because of the trinkets everywhere and the no-dirt policy. If she wants you and your family to stay with them this year, could she baby-proof the house? If not, you totally understand but will need to stay with your brother. Your Mom is not used to you sticking to your guns like this and has a little tantrum (the reason you lie in the first place). You point out to her that she seems very emotional and maybe you can continue this talk another time? When you talk next, your Dad is on the line too and they agree to be more permissible with dirt and to get anything valuable out of harm’s way. The result? The whole thing was a little dramatic but you feel proud that you were honest and communicated your family’s needs the best you could. You held your parents accountable for their behavior, including your Mom’s outburst. You learned to communicate better. You have nothing to hide and nothing is being hidden. The next few holidays are spent a little on eggshells but the ones that follow bring more open communication, trust and intimacy. Your relationship with your parents is mending and your self-confidence and communication skills are growing… and inspiring other family members to do the same. You increasingly feel self-expressed, at ease and confident enough to handle any situation that comes your way.
Experiment (1 day, 1 week, 1 month?)
- Commit to being 100% honest
- Extra Credit: include instances where you lead others to believe something other than the truth
- Extra-Double Credit: notice when you’re lying to yourself (is the girl you’re seeing really The One or have you been feeling subtly stressed out and bad about yourself?)
- To REALLY commit to becoming your true Self, take our 7 week video course: “7 Secrets for Creating the Life You REALLY Want”
